Finding Yourself
by midnightryder459
Summary: Trina Vega has accepted the sad truth: she's untalented, she never belonged at Hollywood Arts, and no one likes her. Believing that she's nothing but a burden and an embarassment to everyone around her, she runs away to attend a college no one knows she applied to, hoping to find something she can have a future in. Meanwhile, how does the Vega family live with one less member?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all. I've been planning to write this for a while. I wanted to have another chapter of 'Trina is Done' before I posted this, but I'm having some writer's block with it, so I wanted to get feedback about how this one seemed to look. **

**Just a few things: One-Beck and Jade are back together (apparently that's in an upcoming episode). Two-Tori and Andre are dating now and Robbie and Cat are 'semi' dating until Cat leaves (I'm just going to follow the direction the series is possibly headed and go with Cat moving in with Sam from iCarly). Three-Whereas my other story reinterpreted some episodes, this one will hold keep everything canon so far. Some of the general themes will be similar, but this is a completely separate story.**

**Anyway, read and review.**

**P.S. I don't own Victorious**

"How's the packing going?" Trina Vega asked her mom as Holly was stuffing her suitcase.

"Just about finished," she told her daughter, "Oh, could I borrow your sandals; I haven't had a chance to replace mine from last year?"

Trina nodded as she walked to her closet, anxious for tomorrow to get here.

Throughout the Vega household, most of the family was packing. Just one week after school had let out for the summer, and, starting tomorrow, three members would be enjoying it. The original plan was that all four members would be getting ready for a trip for them to take together, but things had come up that prevented them from taking a family vacation to celebrate Trina graduating.

Yes, one week ago, Trina Vega had graduated from Hollywood Arts High School. Trina, Sinjin, and all the other members of their class were awarded their High School diplomas and respective honors. In Trina's case, she was recognized for obtaining a GPA over 3.75 (hers was 3.77), a California scholar for the honors and AP classes she had taken, and a few notifications for being involved in the Karate and Rock Climbing extracurricular groups.

After the ceremony at school, there had been a small party at the Vega's. In addition to Tori and their parents, other relatives had come in, Tori's friends were there, and a few people Trina knew from school and the dojo she took karate outside of school had shown up; nothing too big.

Roughly a month ago the family had been planning to take their vacation the week after school ended. The idea was to let Trina pick where they would go before she started college in August. But, other things prevented their plans.

After many years of dedicated service, David Vega was being promoted from average cop to detective by his commanding officer. The pay wasn't too much better, but most people thought it was safer. There was some training he had to go through first though. Every new detective had to attend a retreat up in Santa Rosa. It wasn't the easiest, but the retreat was close to the ocean and the department paid for travel and lodging. Plus, the department had no complaints about wives going upstate with their husbands so Holly would be there to enjoy the area as well. They'd be gone for two weeks.

Meanwhile, Tori would be flying up to Vancouver with her five friends. Beck's cousin landed a role in a new Canadian sitcom and had gotten tickets for the six of them to come and watch the taping. Beck's dad had covered their travel fare and they each had saved up to pay for food and shopping while they were there. It was also meant to be one last adventure for the group before Cat left. The redhead was leaving Los Angeles to go to school out of state and they all wanted to do something fun together before she was gone. They'd be gone at least two, maybe three weeks.

Everyone thought that Trina was the only one that wasn't going on a trip tomorrow. Obviously it would be uncomfortable if she went with just her parents and she didn't bother asking Tori about her not getting a ticket since she had just graduated. Trina pretty much knew the excuses she'd get: _'Beck's dad could only afford so much; his cousin doesn't know about you; it could be awkward with you being the only single person there, etc.'_ Honestly, Trina didn't care about going to Canada.

The Vega's current plans didn't mean their family vacation was off. Her parents said they'd still try and go where Trina wanted when they could. Trina accepted their explanation, but she knew that she wouldn't be going on any future trip with her family.

Because what the rest of the Vegas didn't know was that Trina had been planning a trip of her own for a while now. And she wouldn't be back in two, three, or even four weeks.

In fact, Trina doubted she'd ever come back at all.

**And that's it for now. Please read and review/PM. Also, I'd really appreciate some suggestions from anyone willing to offer some. I have ideas about what I want to include, but for the time frame I want the story to span, I'm going to need a lot more so please include any ideas you might want and I'll see what I can do.**


	2. Can You Handle the Truth

**Hello all. First of all, my apologies for being gone for so long; in addition to some writer's block, this past semester was one of the worst. I tried getting what I could do over Christmas break but I was sick for most of it. Anyway, here's the next chapter; it was a bit rushed so I'm sorry if it's poor quality. As far as when this takes place, the best would probably the night of 'How Trina Got In.' Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

Even though Trina had been planning it for months, she wouldn't have been able to put her plan into play until tomorrow when no one else was around. None of them knew what would happen and most likely none of them would care. She herself wasn't sure what would happen, but she'd tried to think of other solutions and while some might have worked, they weren't likely to fix things or survive in the long run

It had all started three months ago…

_(Flashback)_

Trina was up in her room looking at two different things from school. One was an advertisement for a new musical that Hollywood Arts was putting on in a few weeks. There was a need for several singers; mostly for backup, but there were also two or three female lead singers which Trina was certain she would get one of.

The other was the basic script that had been sent to everyone interested in auditioning: lyrics, lines, and basic interactions each character had. To get ready for her practice, she'd been warming up her vocal cords all day around Hollywood Arts before singing on the ride home, which Tori complained about. _'It's just jealousy,' _Trina told herself.

After looking over both for a while, she put them on her bedside table before she got up. Giving herself a quick look in the mirror, she adjusted her hair a bit before standing grabbing her purse to head out.

Exiting her room she made her way to the stairs when she heard voices downstairs. As she got closer she knew it was Tori and her friends she was hearing; not surprising since none of them ever seemed to open up their homes for the entire group. Since she would pass them anyway, Trina decided to grace them with her presence for a bit.

After she'd gotten down a few steps, but still remained out of their sight, Trina was able to overhear the exact comments the group was making.

"What did you expect when you asked Cat," a voice Trina recognized to be Jade's, "you said she had no talent dozens of times before you heard the real story."

"I wasn't there to see her audition," Cat replied, "For all I knew Andre's story was true and she just lost her talent."

Trina was curious who they were talking about. She couldn't deny there were a number of people at Hollywood Arts who met that description. Sometimes it even seemed like she, Tori, and her friends were the only ones who were actually even trying out for stuff. _'Probably Sinjin's sister; still have no idea how either of them got in.' _she thought.

"To be honest I'm a little surprised you didn't even know the whole story Tori," Beck said.

"For goodness sake Beck, you think after years of living with her and putting up with her awful singing that I hadn't done everything I could to just tone all her antics out," Tori answered.

Trina went wide eyed at her sister's statement. They weren't just talking about some nameless person at the school; they were talking about her.

"You know, if Sikowitz regrets letting Trina in because he only saw her doing talented stuff because of spoiled coconut milk, you'd think he'd stop drinking it," Robbie said.

"Well, one thing was proved today: Trina's never had an ounce of talent in her life," Andre said.

"And probably never will," Beck added.

"Maybe she'll find some one day," Jade started, "when she's washing dishes or maybe even being a janitor somewhere. If she gets one at Hollywood Arts, maybe then people would think she belonged at that school."

"I admit I'm not really that surprised," Tori said. "Sure I thought she might have been different at school than she was here, but I guess she's annoying, self-centered, and deluded everywhere she is."

"I'm guessing those doubts still weren't even confirmed when your parents bribed you to leave her in Yerba or took off so they wouldn't deal with her after she had her wisdom teeth out," Andre said, "Me, Beck, and Robbie still aren't over you girls leaving us here with her then."

Trina flinched at the comment; it felt as if each word were knives stabbing her all over her body.

"Yeah well I'm still ticked about the whole Helen thing," Jade said. "She points out that Trina's irritating and talentless and is about to get kick her out so we wouldn't have to put up with her anymore, but you three just had to have Robbie act like he's trying to rob Helen and get her to let Trina stay."

"First of all, I tried to tell her when I found out, but she wouldn't let me," Tori said, "Even if I did, she'd probably pester Helen about letting her back in or she'd just be whining and moping around here every day. Like I want to put up with that."

"Okay we all get it: Trina has no talent and she shouldn't be at Hollywood Arts. Can we just get back to the game please?" Andre asked.

While the gang got back to their poker game, none of them could guess that Trina was still out of sight, frozen on the steps at what she'd just heard. As the words repeated in her head, she suddenly felt sick and quickly but quietly rushed to the bathroom.

After she got there, Trina locked the door still trying to process this new information. _'It just can't be true right?'_ she thought. How could it be possible that she got in to Hollywood Arts by mistake and should have been kicked out last semester?

Trina remembered when she auditioned: Principle Eikner and three of the other judges had run off to help Sinjin (no surprise there) so the only judge left was Sikowitz. Trina had wanted to go to Hollywood Arts for so long so she had been practicing all summer before she could start her freshman year there. She thought it had paid off; throughout her performance Sikowitz kept giving her praise and was fiercely applauding her by the end. There was no way Tori and her friends' claim that some spoiled coconut milk had made the man hallucinate the whole time. What kind of crazy nonsense was that anyway?

'_Think about what teacher you're asking about?' _her mind countered Trina's reasoning. If there was any teacher in the world that such a weird thing could apply to it was Sikowitz. And he had been saying a lot of weird things throughout the audition before telling her she got in and stumbling his way out. Then did that mean…

As the thought began to sink in, Trina had to lean against the wall to keep her from falling.

'_Well, who cares about how I got in? I've been there for my entire high school career. That counts for something. Plus, it was Tori who was getting kicked out by Helen. And I helped her stay in by saving Helen from that burglar,' _she tried to convince herself.

But what had she heard Tori and the others say: it was all a set up and Trina was supposed to be kicked out because Helen thought she was "irritating and talentless." Now that Trina was thinking about it, when it was Tori being kicked out, her friends weren't over at their house like they always were to try and console her. It had just been the two of them and Tori trying to tell her something the night after they found out.

'_Then that means…oh God!'_ Trina thought. She suddenly felt sick and had to run over to the sink. She didn't throw up, but she gagged several times only bringing up sour spit. At the same time, tears had slowly started to flow from her eyes. She tried to calm down, but she just couldn't. How could she? Four years of thinking she was special and could make it as a singer or actress was all based on a mistake and deception.

Downstairs Tori and the others were leaving, but Trina barely paid them any mind. All she could think about was how all her efforts at Hollywood Arts had been wasted. After her nausea passed, she was finally able to look up from the sink. As she did, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her mascara was smudged leaving black trails down her face, her eyes were red, and her hair looked a mess. She used to think she was beautiful, but the face looking back at her only seemed to match the worthlessness she'd just been described as.

Trina couldn't stand looking in the mirror anymore so she rushed out of the bathroom to her room to try and calmly think things through. Unfortunately, her plan didn't work the way she had hoped it would. Once she was in her room and had locked the door behind her. She tried taking several deep breaths while looking at the floor to try and steady herself. When she thought she finally had her nerves under control, she looked up at the room and gasped as her panic returned.

On her slanted walls Trina had strung up posters of her favorite celebrities: singers, actresses, and all the other famous people she admired and had hoped to be like someday. Her dresser, desk, and bedside table had several things that Trina thought represented her accomplishments over the years. Pictures of her and her family, playing soccer when she was younger, karate practices and tournaments she had gone too, and several at Hollywood Arts including the day she was accepted, plays she was in, and any ceremonies she got recognized at. There were also trophies around the room from sports, karate, and some that she just ordered for herself for practically no reason.

For so long, Trina had valued them; it all made her feel worthwhile and like she could do anything. But hearing that people thought she had not talent at all and just completely devalued her, she knew that all of it meant nothing. She was never supposed to get into Hollywood Arts and nobody thought she had any talent at all; that meant that everything from there was worthless.

At first she just felt completely ashamed at how meaningless so much of her life had been. Then she started to feel something else, something more powerful. She was angry, but not at all the people around her; just herself. She felt nothing but self-loathing and hate for herself, for thinking she was special, for lying to herself all these years.

She hated everything around the room, as if the signs of achievement were silently mocking her like everyone else. She recalled all the insults that she had convinced herself no one really meant: _Monster, insane, untalented; reek of desperation, stupid, what isn't wrong with you; no one likes you._ Clenching her fist tight, there was only one thing on her mind.

With a scream that radiated through the house, Trina let loose her fury by destroying everything around her room. She tore all the awards for achievements or completions to shreds; she threw all the framed pictures of her being in plays at the wall to break the frames before grabbing the pictures and ripping them up; she took her school yearbooks and blacked out every mention of her name and every photo of her. She made sure she was destroying everything having to do with Hollywood Arts.

When she was sure she'd taken care of everything related to school, the phrases '_Trina has no talent'_ and _'No one likes you'_ echoed in her mind once more. So she started again, but this time she destroyed everything having to do with her. Any pictures of her (when she was younger, with family, at karate) were shredded like her school photos; she took all the trophies she had and broke them over her dresser before she scratching over her name off with a nail file; and she finally ripped all her celebrity posters off the walls before crumpling them up and tossing them to the side.

Afterwards, when her room was a complete wreck, shredded paper and broken glass all over the floor, Trina felt her rage slowly subside only to be replaced with the sorrow she'd felt before. She fell against the door to try to keep standing, but she literally felt like the pain was weighing her down. So she slid down until she was sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest while her eyes leaked tears onto her jeans.

She never thought she could feel this hurt. Trina knew that there were people who didn't like her just and that she didn't always give her best performances. Before tonight she would have even admitted she might be a little conceited…but so did everyone at Hollywood Arts!

Despite all the cooperation teachers expected from students when they were giving out parts, competition was extremely high. Friendships had ended because one person got the part someone else thought they deserved, some people gave up on trying, there was even the occasional fight breaking out. If you couldn't get over losing a part, then you were less likely to get one later.

That was why Trina had always tried to stay positive. Even if she didn't always get a role at least she tried out and then did her best to move on. But even if she was satisfied with her performance, it hadn't been enough to get her into Hollywood Arts four years ago, and it wasn't good enough to prove she'd ever belonged there.

Even when she'd felt rejected she still thought she had Tori, her friends, and their parents to fall back on. But they considered her the same thing everyone else did: a nothing. She knew well enough that Jade's repetitive, "No one likes you," made her point clear, but only now did she understand the others views.

Back when Trina had spread the rumor about Beck asking her out to get attention, she had always intended to come clean about it. No matter who it was all she wanted was someone to look at her the same way Beck looked at Jade, with affection and care in their eyes. When Beck had said he liked her, she thought her life was really turning around. But it was all a joke; just something to humiliate her enough so she wouldn't do the same in the future. Trina still couldn't believe she thought Beck was capable of loving anyone but Jade.

Trina had always had an idea how Andre thought of her; she guessed he was even less thrilled to be paired up with her than she was with him back in the showcase. It might have brought him and Tori together, but that was all Tori's doing, no one else's.

Trina had thought she at least had Robbie and Cat as friends, but once again she was wrong. Apparently, all the times she'd used Robbie had finally driven him away from her so that he no longer thought of Trina as someone pretty he might like. As for Cat, Trina thought the two of them had shared some good times, but Cat didn't feel the same. Cat may have enjoyed being around Trina some, but it wasn't enough. Cat just simply went with whatever everyone else said regardless of what her own thoughts were.

But that wasn't the worst of what Trina felt. No, what felt worse were her sister's words. For so long, Trina thought Tori was the one person who was always there. Ever since Trina turned 13, their parents had started leaving them on their own so they could have time to themselves. Whereas originally it was just for special occasions like their anniversary or one of their birthdays, now David and Holly took every single chance they had to get away. After hearing that they wouldn't her abandoned in Yerba, Trina realized it was more out of a desire to get as far away from her as they could afford at the time.

For years it was just the Vega sisters by themselves. Trina knew the two of them didn't always get along; they argued over clothes, what to watch on T.V., where to go shopping, etc. On the outside some people might think it was normal, but looking back Trina knew how horrible a sister she'd been.

Despite Tori probably being the best little sister anyone could ask for, Trina had never returned her sister's gestures. She'd forced Tori to be her assistant/servant for a week for something that took place over ten years ago, blackmailing her into making her the lead in her play, downplaying her talent, and interrupting her when she was with her friends. For a while, Tori was willing to put up with Trina's craziness, but eventually it was too much. Like everyone else, Tori lost all consideration and love for Trina to the point that she was too ashamed to even admit they were related.

'_I failed as a singer and actress; I failed as a friend; I failed as a daughter; I failed as a sister…I failed as a person,'_ Trina thought.

Wiping her eyes with her right hand, Trina started to drop her left to the floor only to pull it back quickly when she felt a sharp pain in her palm. When she looked for the cause, she noticed that there was a piece of glass from one of the destroyed picture frames and, judging from the small drop of blood on the tip, she'd just set her hand on it.

After checking to make sure no glass had gotten embedded in the cut, Trina clenched her fist to try and stop the bleeding before turning back to the shard. She didn't know how long she simply stared at it before looking at her wrist for a moment. She started reaching for the glass when, for some reason, she stopped halfway.

As Trina felt herself start to tremble, she was waging a war inside her mind. _'Come on,'_ she told herself, _'it won't be so bad. It'll just be a few minutes of pain and then nothing. Nothing could feel worse than this. And everything will be better for everyone. I won't be torturing anyone with my so called 'talent' and my family won't be burdened with a disgrace anymore.'_ Finally, she moved her arm closer to the glass till she was less than an inch away before she jerked it back and burst into tears again.

'_You're pathetic,'_ Trina told herself. She truly believed that, but she just couldn't gather the strength to go through with it. Even though she thought it would be the best thing she could do for anyone, there were ways it could backfire. She might be ridding her family of her craziness, but it could also hurt them in the long run by drawing negative attention to them and Trina felt she had already done enough of that in her life.

She tried to think of someway she could make it up to everyone, but try as she might, Trina couldn't think of a thing. _'How do you make up for so many mistakes?' _she thought. She simply sighed in frustration before standing up and starting to clean up. After she made sure she'd gotten up all the broken glass, she started to gather up all the "trash" now strewn about her room and throwing it into a wicker bin normally reserved for laundry.

After throwing in a few handfuls, Trina noticed that one of the things she'd picked up was a college brochure she'd got in the mail. With another sigh, Trina wadded it up and added it to the rest of the garbage. The thought of college only brought more pain.

Trina remembered when she was younger, and not the conceited, spoiled girl she was now. Back then, she didn't know what she wanted to do when she grew up; she only wanted to be like her parents. As such, she said she either wanted to go to USC (where her dad had gotten his degree in criminal justice) or UCLA (where her mom was trained to be a nurse's assistant); she and Tori had even planned that once Trina graduated, she'd live at home until Tori had graduated too and they could maybe get an apartment together. But no one else wanted that anymore.

Two weeks ago, Trina and her parents had been filling out college applications. Even though Trina would have been more than happy to go to USC or someplace close to home, her parents had insisted she expand her options and apply to several other colleges, even places in Washington, Texas, Florida, and even New York. At the time, Trina had been thankful that her parents were so encouraging in her getting the best education she could. After what she'd heard shortly ago and remembering the time her dad had said, "Promise me when you go to college, it'll be some place far, far away," she knew differently.

Her parents didn't care about her education; they just wanted her gone. She had abused their trust to where they couldn't tolerate or love her anymore: she'd wasted their money on expensive clothes and fruitless activities, and constantly embarrassed them. She made them so miserable that they were willing to do whatever they could to get Trina out of their lives. But Trina knew that even if she did leave home for college, she still might be burdening her parents if she had to ask them for help to cover her expenses and if she came home for breaks.

'_The best thing I could do would be disappear or drop off the face of the earth.'_ Trina thought. As she bent to pick up more paper, Trina stopped. That same thought started to repeat in her head.

And that's when the planning all started.

**Well there it is. I know most of it seems similar to Chapter 2 of my other story, but I really couldn't think of how to make it completely different. Some things may seem a bit too much, but it seems everyone has been harsher on Trina in Season 3 and Season 4. Don't worry, it'll develop its own plot in the next few chapters.**

**Again, sorry if it's bad; I admit I kinda rushed to get it done close to when tonight's episode aired. I'm going to try and update more often. It seems more necessary than ever since the last episode of Victorious is airing next week. As if it didn't suck enough that the show's ending, the final episode isn't even a series finale. By that I mean whereas iCarly got the hour long episode to explain why the series was ending, the last episode of Victorious is looking like just another 30 minute episode. **

**Anyway, enough of my ranting. Please read and review. If I get enough, it might give me more inspiration and help get future chapters up.**


	3. The Plan

**First off, apologies for so long a gap between updates; college is busy and it only gets worse the closer you get to graduation. Second, I apologize for any grammar mistakes or if the quality is not very good (I sort of rushed to get this done today). Please read and review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious **

_(Previously)_

_'__The best thing I could do would be disappear or drop off the face of the earth.'__ Trina thought. As she bent to pick up more paper, Trina stopped. That same thought started to repeat in her head._

_And that's when the planning all started._

After two and a half months of extreme caution and careful planning, Trina would finally be able to put her plan into action tomorrow once everyone was gone. Once her family had left the house and she was sure they wouldn't be back anytime soon, Trina would also be leaving. She didn't know for how long; it could be a few weeks, months, years, maybe even forever. All that was for certain was that she'd be leaving L.A. tomorrow.

Of course there were lots of precautions Trina had to take before she could leave. First of all, just running away without any sense of direction or idea of what to do was stupid. She'd only ever left L.A. on family vacations and she didn't plan on going to any of those locations. Plus, no matter how good her grades had been, there was little she could do with just a high school education. So her best option was just to do as she would be doing if she was still oblivious to what everyone truly thought of her: go to college.

As much as it pained her that she wouldn't be able to go to USC like she'd wanted to for so many years, Trina knew if she wanted to make everyone happy, she'd have to look elsewhere, more than likely out of state. The best idea would be to do as her father said and move as far away as she could, but after looking at tuition costs as well as considering what living expenses would be like, Trina knew she'd only be able to get a few states away from California.

So she'd been faced with the task of looking for other colleges within one or two states of California, only this time she didn't have any help. For a while she thought of applying to somewhere in Nevada, but the only school she could find that she liked was University of Las Vegas. It was a good school and she thought that it would be amazing to live in that city, but she had to decide against it. As tempting as it was, the area was too expensive, it was one of the most likely places people would look for her, and most importantly, it would be a constant reminder of what Trina was trying to get away from.

Even though she'd no longer be in Hollywood's backyard, she'd still be surrounded by people trying to make it big in show business, singing, and fancy lifestyles. Four years at Hollywood Arts had proved to Trina that she was a failure at that and she was desperate to get away from everything that served as a reminder.

After a few more days of browsing colleges on the Web, Trina finally decided to apply at Northern Arizona University (NAU) in Flagstaff. She was no more familiar with it than any of the other places she'd recently looked at, nor was it as far away as her family might want her to go. Still, it was close to 7 hours away, she had no family in Arizona, and it was a good school that had several programs to help her figure out what the heck she would do with her life.

Once Trina had found where she wanted to apply, she sent in application letter and student transcript to see if she would be accepted. Even though most information concerning college acceptance came by mail or phone, Trina had to be extra careful so no one would find out what she was up to. To do so, she set up an email account that was separate from the one her parents knew she had and requested that everything regarding NAU be sent to that. The following weeks were torture with her waiting for some idea of whether she got in or not. During that time, she got other acceptance letters: USC, UCLA, etc.; her family paid little mind to each of these.

Trina herself only felt excited for a few moments when she saw them, reminding herself none of them were what she was actually waiting for. The weeks of waiting finally paid off though. One day she checked her email and saw a message from NAU. She didn't open it at first, debating for hours about whether to bother checking it or not. Finally, she worked up enough nerve to open the email. As soon as she saw the first few words "_We are pleased to inform you,"_ Trina didn't have to read anything else.

But figuring out where to go was only half the plan. The next factor was figuring out how to make sure that no one could find her once she was gone. As anxious as they'd be for her to leave, Trina couldn't help but feel that if it got out that the daughter of a senior officer, now detective, of the LAPD ran away, it might damage her dad's career or make her family look bad, so her family might look for her if not for anything but to save their own image. She knew if she wasn't careful, they'd have any easy time too.

Luckily, Trina was aware of all the likely ways that they could try and trace her movements thanks to listening to her dad's stories about all the ways they traced criminals down. She'd have to give up a lot to ensure her getaway.

First of all, she had to make sure that no one would guess what she was planning. Unfortunately, that meant she had to keep up the annoying persona that everyone associated with her. She was able to cut back some though; she pretty much gave up signing up for anything at school and retreated into the ranks of the "shruggers." She even started acting different at home: she rarely asked her parents for anything anymore, she didn't bother Tori or her friends whenever they were over to the point that she basically just stayed up in her room. There were some days where it seemed people noticed Trina was backing off some and they didn't brush her off the second she showed up. Trina enjoyed the days like that, almost to the point that she considered abandoning her plans, but she never did. No matter what, at the end of the day everyone just told her to go away or fled at the sight of her, so she just figured it was pointless for her to hope for anything to be different.

Next, she had to make sure no one could figure out where she was going; some of that was easy enough. No one knew she'd applied to NAU and she made sure to erase the history on her computer after every time she looked up anything having to do with it. Unfortunately, save for her driver's license for ID's sake, she wouldn't be able to bring anything that could be tied to her. That meant no cell phone, no car, or credit or debit card to carry with her. The last was the biggest concern for her.

Trina couldn't deny that she'd mostly relied on her parents' money and credit to pay for practically all her stuff. Originally they had told her and Tori to not worry about getting jobs in high school or college and to just focus on keeping their grades up. In the end this had helped some because the scholarships Trina earned would more than pay for classes and books with some left over, but she wouldn't see any of that until just before classes started. She'd needed money now just to get to Flagstaff and lodging fees until she found a place to live in the area.

Her late paternal grandfather had been an accountant and had bought her and Tori $1000 each in savings bonds before he passed away so she'd secretly cashed those in. Trina also had had at least $2000 more in her savings account and a couple hundred in her checking account, both of which her parents had put in there. Ever since Trina had gotten the acceptance letter from NAU she'd been withdrawing money from each account. As of three days ago, both accounts were empty. Even with that, Trina was still looking for ways she could earn more money.

The answer finally came in an email she received from an acting website she'd subscribed to years ago. When Trina still thought she could make it as a singer or actress, she signed up to received notices from a site that casting directors, recording artists, and talent scouts posted whatever projects they were working on and what type of people they needed to audition. Even though she wanted nothing more to do with acting, there was one offer from a show called _Divertisimo_ where the director was offering $100 per session. For that, Trina was willing to at least try; she later learned why they offered so much.

As it turned out, _Divertisimo _was a kid's show featuring the director's spoiled kid and one of their a friends, both of which got to annoy whoever the new person they hired; since Trina was the only one who showed up, she got the part. At first, Trina considered turning down the entire thing; even if she didn't care about acting anymore, she'd be unimaginably humiliated if anyone she knew saw the show. Fortunately, even though they were filming each session, the show had not been approved for official broadcasting yet so they were just getting the premise of the show down before the pilot of the show finally aired on the Spanish Language Channel.

To try and make sure no one she knew saw it, Trina started telling everyone about how the new show she was in, how it was "really sophisticated" and featured "top-notch acting." She figured if people knew she was a part of it, then no one would bother trying to find it and would just pass it up if they did.

On the night the pilot was finally airing live, Trina was sure she'd convinced everyone to not watch the show, but somehow, Tori and Jade had seen her on TV and couldn't resist the opportunity to make fun of her about it. Luckily the director had seen the two girls and asked if they would want to be on the show too; since they'd been forced by Sikowitz to say yes to everything this week, Jade and Tori found themselves suffering the same ordeal as Trina that night, preventing them from telling anyone. In the end, _Divertisimo _got extremely low viewership on its first official broadcast, so the show wasn't picked up and no one would see the three teen girls dressed like cheeses. Still, Trina had made $600 for her efforts.

So now, after months of planning and preparations Trina was ready. Once her parents and sister left tomorrow and she was sure they'd reached their destinations, she'd be off to Flagstaff, Arizona…a place she'd never been to before…to attend college…that started in almost three months.

Trina always sighed when she remembered those thoughts. So her plans were kinda rough and no matter how much effort she put into them, there was so much that could still go wrong, but it was better than any of the alternatives. If she didn't leave when her family would be away from home for a long enough time then there was a greater chance that they could find her once she left. If that happened, she knew they'd all complain about having to put up with her for the summer and for her not moving far enough away. And if she had applied to colleges far away, she might never see her family again once she left. At least with her current course of action it was her choice to leave.

Trina knew that, like with any missing person, there would still be some commotion when people realized she wasn't coming home, but it wouldn't last. People would pay no real mind to an 18 year old that had left home and her family would likely think, "It's been so much more peaceful around here now that Trina's gone," and then drop the whole thing.

'_It's for the best,'_ she'd told herself over and over; even now she was repeating the phrase in her mind as she was trying to fall asleep, both anticipating and dreading tomorrow.

**Well, there it is; again I apologize for the quality (I think I might have overdone some things or been too repetitive). I'm hoping to have the next 2 (at least 1) chapters up later this week because I'm pretty sure they won't be too long.**


	4. The Departure

**I apologize for the delay in updating; I had writer's block for a while and then of course finals week settled in so that held me up even more. I tried to make this chapter longer as a result. I wanted to have it posted before Sam & Cat on Saturday, but my computer decided to act up. I hope this chapter's okay; I kinda rushed some of it and did a quick speed read through once it was finished so I'm pretty sure I've got a bunch of grammar errors. Either way, hope you enjoy and review after reading.**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Victorious**

The sun rose early the next morning, ushering in yet another Saturday. As the sun's light shown down on a certain neighborhood in Los Angeles, it crept through the window of one particular house and was reflected back on Trina Vega's face, awakening the 18-year-old girl.

Trina didn't snap awake all at once. At first she just turned over in her bed to get the sun out of her face just so she could enjoy her peaceful state for a few more moments. Eventually, she sat up in bed, yawning as she stretched before rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

'_Today's the day,'_ she thought as she turned to look out her window, catching a glimpse of the L.A. skyline illuminated by the early sunlight. Even though Trina had seen it hundreds of times, she took extra time today to really take in the sight and enjoy it. After all, it could be a long time before she'd ever see it again…that is if she ever got such a chance.

Unfortunately, Trina didn't get to enjoy it much longer.

"Today's the day I go to Canadaaa!" she heard her sister sing out, before Trina heard the bathroom door close.

After hearing Tori's overly joyous exclaim, Trina looked back at her pillow and briefly considered trying to get more sleep or just spending most of the day in her room. For one, she knew no one in her family would care if she just avoided them all day. Plus, after hearing her sister go on and on about the Yerba trip before they all headed to the war-torn country, Trina was certain that Tori would do nothing but brag about her upcoming trip: how excited she was to go somewhere new with her friends, to be on the set of a sitcom, and take in everything Canada had to offer.

Having already heard her sister's excitement for days now, Trina wasn't sure she wanted to hear it much more. But then again, today would be the last chance she'd have to see her family for a while. No matter how unpleasant the experience could end, she'd be willing to go through whatever to at least have a few more hours with them before leaving. So she quickly changed out of her pajamas into the jeans and top she'd worn yesterday and started downstairs.

As she got closer to the kitchen, Trina thought she smelled something for a second and then she caught a scent that she knew was maple syrup. When she finally could see the kitchen, she saw her mom at the table with a plate of waffles in front of her that she was slowly munching on.

"You made waffles for breakfast?" Trina asked her mom.

"Mm-hmm; I found a new recipe for Belgian waffles with bananas added into the mix," Holly responded before taking another bite. Once she swallowed, she looked back at Trina and asked, "Did you want some?"

Trina had to fight back her sigh. She pretty much knew the second she saw her mom eating that the woman had only made breakfast for herself; which had become a common thing in their household. While she would have _preferred _waffles, Trina just said, "No, of course not," as she walked over to kitchen. "I'll just have cereal."

"Oh I used all the milk in the waffles," her mom said, "We're out of juice too."

'_Of course we are,'_ Trina thought to herself. "Then again, Pop Tarts and water work too," she said as she pulled the box out of the cabinet.

Shortly after Trina sat down at the table and started eating, her mom finished her plate and quickly cleaned it off in the sink before excusing herself to go pack more. Once she left, Trina finally let out the sigh she'd been holding back. She had to admit, times like this were when Trina felt even more neglected. Yes, her parents frequently went out of their way to avoid her, but her mother's habit of only making breakfast for herself made it seem like she forgot she even had children or that she just didn't care enough to put in the extra effort.

Still, Trina would miss her. Even though they didn't spend much (if any) time together any more, she had always enjoyed shopping with her mom, getting advice about boys, and watching "Celebrities Underwater" together.

"I smell waffles," Trina heard from upstairs. A second later, Tori came rushing down the staircase, clearly expecting breakfast on the table. But the smile she was wearing quickly turned to a look of confusion when she looked around and saw none. Quickly looking around, she finally located Trina at the kitchen table, and judging from the look in her eyes, the blame was about to fly.

"Trina, did you eat all th-," Tori started, but stopped when Trina held up her half eaten pop tart. Again, Tori looked confused, but after a quick look in the sink, she looked back over her shoulder before looking back to Trina. "Mom?" Tori asked.

Trina answered with only a nod. Groaning, Tori silently decided to follow Trina's lead for breakfast.

Once Trina finished her breakfast she went over to the sink and started cleaning her dishes, which really didn't take much. A minute later, her mother came back in the living room to say, "Trina, could you please move your car from behind mine so we don't have to worry about it later?"

"Sure," Trina said as she made her way to the stairs to grab her keys, "Where's Dad?

"Oh, he had to head to the station for a few hours; he needed to make sure everything was taken care of before we leave at 1' today."

"Kay," Trina said before she continued upstairs to grab her keys. Along the way she reviewed all her plans for the day. Despite all her plans for leaving, she'd had to put off packing so that her family wouldn't get suspicious; plus, she'd have to wait till later tonight before she could leave just to make sure her family was at their destined locations so she could get far enough away not to be found. She wished she had some more idea about what to plan, but for right now, this was all she could think of.

A few minutes later, Trina had moved her car and parked it on the street next to her house. Before she got out, she made a quick check in her back seat to make sure that there was nothing she needed to bring in before she started packing her car up later.

As she started back to her house, she got halfway up the driveway before she heard another car getting closer. Turning to look, she saw her dad's car coming up the street and moved out of the driveway for him to pull in.

For a moment Trina considered just continuing inside, but she decided against it in favor of a talk with her father, regardless of how short.

"Hey Dad," Trina started simply.

"Hey Tri," he replied back, "What's up?"

"Not much," Trina answered, "Mom and Tori have just been packing; I thought you had to work for a few more hours today."

"So did I," David said, "but apparently the Captain thinks that, since the department's already giving me two weeks off with pay to go and complete some training for a promotion at a beach, I probably don't need many extra hours," he said with a tone of sarcasm. "I'm gonna go see if your mother needs any help," he finished with before heading inside.

Trina gave a small laugh at her dad's comment as she watched him go inside. That was one thing she'd miss about him. Even though some of her dad's comments had hurt (as well as and inspire her idea of leaving), he sometimes had a way of finding humor in most situations. What she'd miss most though, was the sense of security he offered her. It wasn't just the fact that he was a cop, but that he did try to look out for his daughters…at least when he was at home that is. With nothing else to do outside, Trina headed back in the house.

Despite her earlier wishes against it, Trina found herself sitting in her room for the next few hours. She tried to interact some with her family, but they were all rushing around getting their stuff together, checking their hotel reservations, Tori's flight plan, etc. Trina tried helping some, but after she'd almost been run over by her mom rushing to get clothes out of the dryer, she decided to just stay out of the way. But after so long, Trina decided that she might as well go ahead and take a shower; at least if she were in the bathroom she could go ahead, change clothes, and still be out of the way.

Twenty minutes later, Trina left the bathroom, feeling a bit more refreshed. She was almost back to her room before she heard Tori say, "Hey Trina, can you help me? I really need you for this."

Trina stopped when she heard her sister. Even though she only gave a few seconds of thought, Trina had a rush of thoughts flooding her mind. Tori was the person she'd probably had the least amount of contact with today; now her sister was asking her for help? Whatever the reason, Trina was willing to assist, if anything just to feel needed.

"Sure Tori; what do you-," Trina started as she turned around, but once she had she noticed that Tori wasn't behind her. Turning slightly she saw that her sister's door was open.

Figuring it was the obvious location, Trina walked into Tori's room to see her sister at her closet, reaching up to grab something. "Can you help me get my bigger suitcase down?" Tori called behind her.

And just like that, Trina felt her mood plummet. "Sure," she answered calmly, hiding her disappointment as she walked over to the closet. The suitcase wasn't too heavy, just high enough where it might hurt someone if it fell. It took a minute or two for the sisters to get a good grip on the bag, but once they did it only took a few more seconds to set it on the ground. Once they did, Tori quickly knelt down to unzip the suitcase, and, without even looking back at Trina, said, "Okay; you can go now."

Trina just watched as her sister paid her no mind as she quickly went back to packing. Knowing she was no longer needed, she stepped out of the way and headed back to the room with a quick, "Sure."

Once Trina got back to her room, she closed the door before quietly falling back on it, sliding to the ground. Just for a second, she had thought Tori might actually need her or want her advice, but it really didn't surprise her when she just needed a quick favor.

Then again, that's all Tori ever seemed to need her for. She never needed Trina as a sister, a friend, or even someone just for company; just someone she could get a quick favor from to reap the rewards from and never offer thanks. It never mattered what it was: driving to get the solvent to remove the zombie make up from her face, tricking her into going on a date with the creepy Lendal to save Rex, fake being a celebrity to distract Mrs. Lee so Tori could improve her friendship with Jade, drive her to school because Tori had no ambition to get her license, be on her Brain Squeezer team just to beat Jade and win money; the list went on. And yet…Tori was the person Trina would miss most of all.

No matter what Tori said (good or bad), it was at least some interaction that Trina got with someone else. No one at Hollywood Arts paid her any mind and their parents were almost nonexistent in their lives; Tori was the only person who actually gave Trina any place in their life.

It wasn't just that; it was the smaller things Trina would miss more than anything: playing Wii sports together, watching CSI, and playing cards (despite the initial complaints from everyone about Trina forcing herself in the games). And, as crazy as it sounded, she'd miss her Tori's singing.

Trina knew she gave her sister a hard time about her talent, but it wasn't because she thought Tori lacked any. For one, Hollywood Arts was extremely competitive. There were only so many parts that could go out, and when one person succeeded, another failed. No matter how happy you could be for a friend, you were forced to acknowledge that their success came at your expense. As such, people had to try whatever they could to build themselves up; even if it meant thinking they were better than others. While Trina originally did this to help persevere in her own pursuits, she now accepted that she'd never be Tori's equal.

Further, she did it to help her sister. No matter how naturally talented Tori was, the girl had gone from an average student who been thrown into Hollywood Arts with little effort and no original drive to go to the school to one of the top students. While Tori had done great, things like that could swell her ego and lead her to think she didn't need to practice as much. To try and help Tori avoid that, Trina occasionally downplayed her sister's talent just to make sure Tori didn't think she was above trying (just like Trina had before hearing the truth about her time at Hollywood Arts).

As such, Tori kept up her practice and mastered every song she sang, and Trina liked listening to her sister. But her favorite memories were the times where she actually got to sing with Tori. Despite her lack of talent, Trina cherished the moments where everyone was so lost in the music that she could just join in singing with everyone. In fact, one of her favorite memories was when she got to join Tori in singing "Make It Shine" when they met the iCarly gang at Kennan Thompson's house.

Now though, all she'd have left were her memories; nothing more.

Two hours later, three members of the Vega family were all packed. They'd already loaded their baggage into the car and were doing a last minute check of things. Tori was upstairs letting her Pear Phone charge for just a few more minutes; David was in his and Holly's room, confirming their Hotel arrangements, and Holly was in the kitchen going over everything for Trina to take care of while they were gone.

"And remember to lock the door if you go out at any time," Holly reminded her daughter.

"Yes mom," Trina said, anxious for everyone to go so she could start getting her stuff ready.

A second later, she heard Tori come rushing down the steps, crying out, "Off to Canada now!"

"Bye Tori," Trina started, "I hope you have a g-," but by the time she had nearly finished wishing Tori well, her sister had flung the door open and was sprinting to the car.

A minute later, David appeared with one more bag and told Holly they were ready to go.

"Well that's our cue," Holly said as she walked to the door, "Call us if anything happens."

"I will," Trina assured. "Have a nice-," she started, but just like with Tori, her parents had exited the house and shut the door behind them. Right after that, Trina heard her parents' car start and pull out of the driveway, heading off to drop Tori off at the airport before heading to Santa Rosa. For a few minutes, Trina just stood in the kitchen watching the door she'd just seen her family leave out of, missing them already. Eventually, she snapped back to reality, and said, "Have a nice trip," before heading back to her empty room to pack.

By nine o'clock that night, Trina had packed up everything she thought that she would need for her new life; now she was just making sure that her family had arrived at their destinations so that she could make a clean getaway.

While she was waiting, she checked her bags once more. She was taking her backpack with her, just because she thought it was a way to avoid paying $30-$70 for a new one. Plus it was convenient for carrying some of her things. She had her laptop, some of her favorite books and CD's, and her PearPod charger. She'd had some space left so she went ahead and put her underwear in one of the pockets just so she would have more room in the travel bag she was taking. In that, she had three pairs of jeans, three skirts, a few shirts and blouses, a rain jacket, a cheap purse, and an extra pair of tennis shoes. Since she knew she wouldn't be able to get any of her allergy medication at any pharmacy in Flagstaff, she packed as much as she had in the house in case her allergies ever caused her any serious problems.

In an effort to make sure none of her money was stolen, she had separated it throughout her bags. A third of it was in the pockets of one of her jeans in the travel bag; another was in a CD case in her backpack; and the rest of it was in her pocket. She knew it was a risk not having it all on her, but she figured this way if someone tried to rob her (God forbid), then she'd be less likely of losing everything.

The thought of being robbed made her look back at her closet with a sigh. Despite her preference for more stylish fashions (i.e., Gucci purses, Fazzini footwear, and designer clothes), she had decided against bringing any of said products with her. For one, anyone wearing more expensive items would be a more likely target for attention or theft, and Trina didn't want to standout like that.

Second, all the fancy items had always made her feel like a star, like someone important that actually mattered. Knowing that she was neither, Trina didn't want to wear any of the clothes anymore; they would just be a sign of the lie she'd been living for her four years of high school.

Finally, practically all the items had been bought using her parents' money; a way of shutting Trina up by giving into her wants or a result of her "borrowing" her mom's credit card. Now, Trina felt like she had wasted her parents' money on buying all the unnecessary items, so the least she felt she could do would be leave them behind to send back for some money or give them to Tori.

As Trina sat on her bed, waiting for some sort of notification that her family was not going to be back anytime soon, she started to think about her plans. Even though she'd spent months thinking about this, now that she was actually about to go through with it, the full weight of her intentions started to sink in.

'_Could she really do this? Was she really leaving the only home she'd ever none? Would she even be able to make it once she left?'_ All these questions were running through her mind. She tried to reassure herself that it was for the best, that with her gone everyone she knew would start having a better life. Still, she felt afraid of what could happen. No amount of planning would give her an idea of exactly what could happen. There were so many things that could go wrong, and what would she do if something did.

'_I just need a sign; that's all,'_ she thought as she started feeling afraid, _'Just some sort of sign to tell me whether I'm doing the right thing.'_ She started to wish she didn't have to go through with this. She wanted someone in her family to come back; she'd be willing to tell them what she'd been planning just so they'd stop her. She didn't care if she had to put off going to college; she was just hoping that she could try to salvage her life here in L.A.

As she wished one of her family members was coming back, she felt her phone vibrate. She slowly pulled it out to see what the notification was. When she checked, she saw that Tori had just posted a new update on TheSlap:

'_ARRIVED IN CANADA; TAKING IN SIGHTS TOMORROW. MOOD = PSYCHED.'_

Groaning, Trina dropped her phone to her side. _'Well that's one,'_ she thought, accepting that her sister wouldn't stop her from leaving.

A few minutes later, she felt her vibrate again; this time it was a call. When she checked it, she saw it was from her mom.

"Hello," Trina answered.

"Hi Trina," her mom replied, "Just wanted to call and say me and Daddy made it to our resort."

"Oh," Trina said, her mood falling, "Okay; well I hope Dad does okay while you all are there."

"Alright," her mom said back, "like I said, call us if anything happens, and _remember_, lock the door if you go out."

"Okay, mom," Trina answered, fighting back a sigh.

"Well, that's it; see you when we get back," Holly told her daughter.

"Yeah, alright," Trina said. "I lo-," she started, but she heard the line go dead before she could finish.

"I love you both," Trina said to no one as she hung up and turned off her phone.

That was it; her family was away, off enjoying themselves. None of them would be back anytime soon…none of them would be by to stop her.

After sitting on her bed in silence, Trina finally stood up and walked over to place her phone on her dressed. She didn't want anyone to find it anytime soon so she hid it behind some of the books she wasn't bringing.

She started to turn back around to get her stuff together, but as she did, something else on the dresser caught her eye. As she turned back around, she noticed it was her diploma from graduating Hollywood Arts. For some reason, she felt the need to pick it up and open it. The certificate said the same thing it did the day she got it: _"This certifies that Katrina Marie Vega, having exceptionally completed the Course of Study prescribed by the Board of Education, is now declared a Graduate of Hollywood Arts High School."_

As Trina reread the declaration, she kept remembering everything she'd thought over the past few months. Other people would have been thrilled to have earned the grades she had; they would have loved to celebrate the graduation with pride. But the fact that Trina finished at a school she never should have been at (and never developed any of the talents she desired); this diploma was just a piece of paper, supporting a lie.

Disgusted by the printed statement, Trina quickly pulled out the diploma from its case. Setting it back on her dresser, she eyed a red pen close by. In a flash, she grabbed it and then started to furiously scribble over the worthless achievement statement until she almost scratched through the paper. Once she was satisfied that it was completely marked out, she replaced it with a message that was more honest about her time at Hollywood Arts: how she never belonged there; how her futile efforts that did nothing to help her talent; and how she was a disgrace to everyone who knew her.

Once she had finished, Trina forced the sheet back in the case before throwing it in the laundry basket in front of her closet; the same basket that still had all of her shredded certificates and busted trophies; she'd never bothered throwing them away. Shouldering her back pack, she grabbed travel bag off the floor and headed downstairs.

When Trina finally reached the door, she started to reach for the doorknob, but stopped once her hand touched it. She turned around and looked around the living room and kitchen. As she did, she could picture Tori and her friends sitting at the table playing cards, laughing and smiling. Behind them, Trina imagined seeing her parents in the kitchen, both cooking and also smiling. They all looked so happy. But no matter how hard she tried, Trina just couldn't convince herself that, if she were to appear, it would stay that way.

With a long sigh, she opened the door, closed and locked it, and walked to her car. Once she was there, she loaded both her bags in the trunk and headed for the driver's seat. Just before she got in, she took another look at the house, and, fighting back tears, quietly said, "Goodbye," before she took her seat and drove off into the night.

She drove for what felt like forever, when it was actually just 20 minutes. When she finally stopped, it was at a gas station that was a few blocks away from the USC campus…as well as the bus station. To make sure that she couldn't be followed, Trina had decided to take a bus; for better measures, she decided to ride so far north before heading southeast to Flagstaff.

Once Trina had both of her bags out of the car, she took a few minutes to look at her car. She knew she had complained when she first got it; she had wanted something a bit fancier than something used, but now that she was about to lose it, she knew she'd miss her red Pontiac. No matter how the car looked, it got her place to place with little problem and gave her a sense of freedom; that was why she couldn't sell it. Even though she was just leaving it at this gas station, it was a good chance that her dad might find it impounded when he got back. With Trina gone, Tori might finally feel like getting her driver's license and get Trina's car as a gift…or maybe something newer with the money her parents could get from selling the car. With one last look, Trina locked all the doors to the car, put the keys in the center console, and shut the doors.

Now with nothing stopping her, Trina grabbed her bags, took a deep breath, and started walking to the bus station.

**Well there it is; hope it's okay. I know it's kinda depressing but that's how most of the chapters are gonna be. I've already got down my idea for the next chapter; I'm just not sure how some people might react to it (it's not offensive, just maybe not as likely a scenario). Anyway, again, please review and let me know how I'm doing.**


	5. Lowest Point

**As always, I'm sorry for the delay. Summer classes have been taking a toll on me, plus job hunting. Also, this chapter was probably the hardest one that I've had to write yet. I honestly thought that I'd just leave it out (I still might delete it) and go to the next one, but I don't want there to be any gaps with people wondering **_**'I don't get how Trina got to this point when she was somewhere completely different in the last chapter.'**_** Still, please read and review. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious **

Trina Vega woke startled; she quickly put her hand to her chest and felt her heart racing. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she quickly reviewed the thoughts that her just run through her mind.

It had been just over a week since Trina left L.A. Since then, it seemed every night she would relive that entire day in her dreams: everyone rushing around to pack, Trina trying to stay out of everyone's way or get run over, her family rushing out, and then the indifference they showed her that day. Still, it was clear to Trina she had some mixed feelings about leaving; just a small amount of regret about not having any final closure with her family. Then again, it was the only way she could leave in the hopes of making their lives better. That thought was the only thing that was helping her cope with her current circumstances.

Suddenly, Trina heard a slight noise from her right; she quickly turned to look for the source, but it turned out it was only one of the other girls in the room snoring. Sighing lightly, Trina took a moment to think back over everything that had happened after she left her car behind.

The L.A. bus station wasn't very crowded when she arrived; only a few people besides the attendants. At first she'd been worried about how long she might have to wait for her bus to arrive. Luckily she found one bus heading north passing through L.A. and would be there in an hour. From what she could tell, it was driving about two more hours north and stopping at Santa Barbara. After that, there was a transfer bus that was heading southeast, and would pass through Flagstaff about 8 or 9 hours later. That fit right into Trina's plan, so she anxiously waited out the hour before she was able to leave.

The bus ride itself was completely uneventful. There was only one other person who got on at the L.A. stop and there were two other people who were already on the bus. The ride to Santa Barbara was fairly uneventful. The original two passengers got off the bus halfway through the trip, but the other stayed until they got to Santa Barbara. Throughout the trip, Trina tried staying awake, but found herself constantly dozing off. When they finally got to Santa Barbara, there was a brief 20-minute break while the bus was refueled. During that time, Trina was able to make a quick bathroom break and grab a coffee from a dispenser inside the bus stop before boarding the new bus.

This time Trina was the only passenger, though not surprising given the late time (it was almost 11:00 by then). Now though, Trina had at least 8 hours before she'd get to her destination. With no other passengers on board, this trip was even more uneventful. But, thanks to the quiet, Trina was able to catch some sleep along the way. The bus had to make a stop every so often to refuel and check for new passengers, but for the entirety of this trip, no one else got on the bus. Finally, by around 8:00 the next morning, she was in Flagstaff, Arizona.

When she finally got off the bus, it hit Trina that she had no idea what she'd do for lodging. She didn't know anyone in the area, college dorms wouldn't be available for nearly two months, and she couldn't afford to go back and forth between hotels that whole time.

Luckily, as Trina was looking at a map inside the bus station, one of the workers noticed her and asked if she was a student at the university. When Trina said that she would be, the station worker said that there was a hostel about 20 minutes away for potential and incoming students who wanted to familiarize themselves with the campus and town before the semester started.

Thinking that that was the best she could hope for, Trina asked for directions and thanked the attendant. She didn't leave just yet though. Whatever this place was, she doubted that they'd let someone check-in or whatever this earlier in the day.

After a few more minutes of studying the map, Trina finally decided to head out. She took the next few hours walking around the streets to look around the city. There were noticeable differences from Los Angeles: there was a LOT less traffic; not nearly as many areas flooded with shops, restaurants, and skyscrapers for big businesses; and of course no Hollywood. That didn't mean it was completely different. Some parts of Flagstaff reminded Trina of some of the less developed areas in L.A. and some areas had a few athletic fields were similar to the ones Trina played soccer at when she was younger.

Still, as important as it was to finding everything in the new city, Trina started to feel the effects of riding a bus all night and decided she might as well check out the hostel she'd heard about. Despite her wishes to hail a cab, Trina knew her desperation to save money was more important and so she ended up walking.

When Trina finally arrived, she asked the attending worker about staying. From what Trina heard, it sounded like a good idea: it cost $25 for the extent of the stay, but that covered lodging and showers. It also included a small continental breakfast that was mostly cereal, fruit, and juice, but it was healthy and better than nothing. They even offered lockers for people who wanted to keep their stuff safer. Since Trina was carrying about two-thirds of the money she had in her two bags, she decided that was the best option.

Even though the hostel was pretty nice and gave Trina a place to sleep after looking around the town for the better part of the day, there was a problem: visitors were allowed to stay only to stay a maximum of one week before they had to leave and then they weren't allowed another stay until two weeks later, and today was the end of Trina's week.

She honestly didn't know what she'd do next. The first few days she'd spent in Flagstaff she'd mostly been touring. After that, she'd spent the majority of her time at a local internet café looking up apartments on her laptop.

That was a challenge enough of its own, and Trina was facing more problems than most: she only had the cash she had been carrying with her and no one assistance from anyone else so she needed a place she could afford; she couldn't afford to pay for any furniture or appliances so she needed some place furnished; and she had no car so it would be best if she could find some place close to campus…or she needed a roommate with a car to drive her. Even though Trina didn't know anyone in the area, and had originally hope she'd have an apartment to herself until she was better adjusted, a roommate might not be such a bad idea: the rent would be cheaper, she'd have someone to show her around, and maybe meet new people.

So far, Trina was still looking for a place that had all of those potential needs and now, she was about to face either being on the street or spending at least $50 a night for a hotel.

Sighing, she realized she'd have nothing to do but keep thinking about any possible options.

Sadly, after three hours of thinking, Trina still had no success; she still didn't have any ideas about where she could possible go. She tried asking the other girls around, but they were no help. Even though they were admitted that they were going to start at NAU in the fall, none of them were from the area. They were just staying at the hostel for a quick visit before they went back to their homes for the rest of the summer.

By the time 10:30 rolled around, Trina still had no idea about what to do, and she only had 30 minutes longer until she had to leave.

Her only option was to ask whoever was working if she could stay for just a few more days. It wasn't like it was a big request. None of the girls that checked in a week ago (the same day Trina did) were still around; they all had left within a day or two of staying at the hostel. The longest anyone had stayed while Trina was here had been four days…and that person had left yesterday. Most of the people who worked here were nice; and, maybe if Trina could ask nicely and explained some of her situation, they'd be willing to let her stay a few extra days. Taking a deep breath, Trina decided she might as well try and ask.

Unfortunately, Trina started thinking her plan was hopeless as she noticed who was at the front desk. In addition to the main workers at the hostel, they also allowed volunteers from the high school to perform community service there. In comparison to the actual employees, the volunteers were less focused and constantly slacked off; the fact that the girl at the front desk was lounging back in her chair texting. Trina would just have to hope that she could catch a break.

When she got to the front, Trina waited for a few moments, expecting the volunteer to acknowledge her. To her dismay, the younger girl kept playing with her phone. Feeling slightly annoyed, Trina cleared her throat to bring the high school volunteer back to reality. When she did look at Trina, she also seemed annoyed; most likely the girl was angry at Trina for making her have to do actual work.

"Can I help you?" the girl practically grunted.

"Yeah, uh," Trina started, suddenly feeling anxious, "I was wondering if I could see about extending my stay here?"

The girl sighed and picked up the clipboard with the names on people staying before asking, "Name?"

"Trina Vega," Trina answered.

The young girl looked over the list for a brief moment before saying, "You've been here for your week; you'll have to wait the two weeks before you can stay here again"; and with that she quickly returned to her phone.

Although Trina was surprised at the lack of effort, she made sure to stay composed. "Well, I know my week's up, but I'm sure there will still be some space at the end of the day," Trina stated.

"Sorry; no exceptions," the other girl replied, frustrating Trina even more.

"Look," Trina said, "If you could call up one of the people who actually work here, then I'm sure that they'd-"

Sighing, the high school volunteer put her phone down before looking up at Trina and saying, "Hey, if you need a cheap place to stay then try the homeless shelter down on Fifth Street. I'm sure they help out people just like you. Just get there around 1:00 or there will be too many people in front of you and you won't get in" After that, the younger girl stood up and walked off.

For a moment, Trina just stood there at the front desk speechless before she walked back to the commons; she didn't know when her next shower would be so Trina thought she'd better take advantage of this while she had the chance. As much as she didn't want to, and even with the noise from the shower, Trina kept replaying those words in her head: _'homeless shelter; people just like you.'_

Even though Trina had been faced with the challenge of not having a place to stay, hearing it from someone else made it finally sink in: she was homeless. She was in a strange area with no one she knew around, she would quickly run out of money if she didn't watch it, and she had no guarantee that she'd have a roof over her head at night. She could actually be out on the street for the night. Now she was more scared than ever.

An hour later, Trina was sitting in the Internet café she'd visited over the past few days; only this time, she was barely able to focus. As she looked over available apartments to rent or hotels to stay at, she kept looking back at the clock on her laptop to see what time it was. By the time 12:30 rolled around, it was too much for Trina. There was no way she could suddenly move into an apartment, and while a hotel was optional, she couldn't find anything that she could risk staying at for not even a week. Swallowing her pride, Trina left the café and hailed a cab and rode to Fifth Street.

When she got out of the cab, Trina understood why the volunteer back at the hostel had suggested getting there before one. There was already a steady line of people outside the hostel, which, judging from the crowd was for women only (something Trina was thankful for).

As she got in line, Trina started to look over all the other women waiting. While some of them looked what could be considered the stereotypical homeless attire (i.e., torn, raggedy clothes; messed up hair, and poor hygiene) a few looked to be fairly close to her in age and even wearing some similar, albeit slightly unkept, clothing. But what made Trina cringe was that some of the older women in front of her appeared to have children with them…children that Trina could only assume were the women's' sons and daughters.

When people finally started being allowed in the shelter, Trina constantly looked behind her to see if there were any other women with kids behind her. No matter how desperate her situation was, Trina couldn't live with herself if she didn't let a young child take her place. Fortunately, by the time Trina got to the front of the line, it looked like all the children had already been let inside and there weren't any behind her.

The person at the entrance took a few moments to look over Trina. Trina guessed that, despite not having an actual place to stay, she still didn't look as though she were homeless. After a minute or two, the person noticed Trina's two bags and asked, "Were ya thrown out on the street ma'am?"

Trina wasn't quite sure how to answer the question so she just nodded.

"Come on in," the attendant replied, "Talk to the person at the desk inside and see about where to put your stuff for safekeeping."

Again, Trina nodded and walked inside. As she looked around the building, it looked like a converted gymnasium more than anything. What used to be a basketball court now was filled with what looked like beach chairs that had been converted into cots. Trina walked over to the front desk and was told to take anything she needed from her bags before she handed them to the staff and given an ID tag for when she needed to pick them up.

After getting her toothbrush and some soap and asking where she could get something to eat to another area where several people were lined up. Once Trina got in line, she looked ahead to see that it was somewhat set up buffet style…though she doubted the food would be the same as some of the restaurants she'd been to in the past.

As she looked over the food, Trina noted that none of it looked too appealing. In the end she just decided on the toast she found at the end of the line and what she guessed was soup. After getting a drink, Trina sat down and started eating the toast. For a few moments after, she just stirred the soup around the Styrofoam bowl thinking about her current situation. Finally she decided to try the soup, but before she could take a bite, Trina noticed something. What she thought was soup was actually an extremely watered down form of cream of wheat; the realization caused her appetite to drop.

Pushing aside her food tray, Trina sighed before propping her elbows on the table and putting her head in her hands. Despite her earlier desire to not think about leaving L.A., Trina couldn't stop herself from wishing that she could have just stayed home.

**And there it is. Like I said, this chapter's pretty bad. I don't like it myself. I apologize if it sounded stereotyped at some parts; I hate it when my writing comes across like that. Like I said before, I may delete this, but that depends on what you all suggest or think. I've already got the next chapter started (things finally start to improve for Trina) so it should just be a few days. Again, please review. Thanks.**


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